


Catch Me!

by TMiller318



Category: Markiplier TV (Web Series)
Genre: ADHD, Behind the Scenes, Eggs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Ethan Nestor, Hurt/Comfort, Markiplier - Freeform, Men Crying, Panic Attacks, add
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMiller318/pseuds/TMiller318
Summary: A behind the scenes look at Markiplier Makes: An Egg Drop. AKA Ethan's ADHD episode, in which Ethan has a meltdown but Mark is there to pick up the pieces. Hurt, comfort and a little bit of fluff.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	1. Picking up the Pieces

Ethans POV

  
“My turn is over!” I say in defeat.

  
I'm so tired. I can't hold it together any more. Everything is just too much. I can't focus and I can't just not focus because this video needs to be done. But everyone is just so loud… My egg catcher? Dropper? Envelope? Whatever the hell it is didnt work and that's my breaking point. I just want it to be quiet.I turn to go inside and to go down stairs to get to the patio in the backyard. Halfway to the front door I'm stopped in the kitchen by Mark.

  
“Everything okay buddy? I know the egg drop didn't go as planned but that's nothing to be upset about. Things aren't supposed to go absolutely perfect that would make for an awful boring video.” Mark said sweetly with so much concern in his voice it made me feel sick. This is all my fault its just a stupid challenge! Hold it together!

  
“Yeah, everythings fine.” I say turning to try and walk away. I just need to keep it together for a few more minutes we’re almost done. Almost done…

  
“Come on Eef, you can talk to me. Please? Just let me know what's going on so i can help.” Mark's voice is dripping with sincerity and all it does is make me feel worse. I can feel what little hold I have left on reality slipping.

  
“I said I'm fine! Everything is fine! Just leave me alone!” I snapped. I immediately feel guilty. He just wants to help, but i can't let him cause if i do im just gonna break down and i can't do that right now. Not now. Please god not here.

  
“We’ll if that's the attitude you want to have, I think you need to take a time-out. You can sit here and cool down while Tyler does his drop. Maybe by then you'll be ready to talk.” Mark says and it just makes me more angry. Why the hell is he so calm? I just screamed in his face!

  
“I'm 23 goddamn years old! I’m not a fucking toddler you cant just put me in ‘time-out’ til im ready to talk! And there's also nothing to talk about so just drop it!” I'm losing it. Come on Nester, keep it together. I turned to walk away and finally put some distance between the two of us only to find that Amy had made her way inside at some point during our argument and was directly behind me. I look at her face and it echoes the same concern in Mark's words. The overstimulation from the building portion of the challenge is back and it’s too much. I can hear the fridge humming, Chica and Henry barking in the other room, and the sliding door open as Tyler makes his way inside to see what all the yelling is about. I can hear the beating of my own heart and my rapidly increasing breathing. My clothes feel wrong, my waistband is digging into me and the seam of my sock is rubbing my toes wrong. I back away from Amy and Mark only to be greeted with my back literally to the wall. There's too many people and not enough room. My heart is racing and it's getting harder to breathe… I’m crying. I’m fucking crying. God dammit i was so close. So fucking close. I can't breathe. I crumble to the ground bringing my knees to my chest and clutching my ears hoping it will make the noise stop. Please God make it stop. I close my eyes. My mind is going a thousand miles a minute and none of my thoughts are making any sense. It's just noise. Why is there so much noise?

  
I hear something. Something besides my thoughts. Its people. Mark, Amy and Tyler are moving. I don't know what they're doing and at this point i really don't care. I'm starting to breathe again. Well at least less wheezing. My heart is still racing but I can make this work. I start to move my toes and feel the seams of my socks. It's not as scratchy as it was before. I try to take a deep breath and somehow manage to keep it in. My waistband isn't as restrictive as it was before. I focus on my heart beat and it's still faster than it should be but that's ok. My thoughts are still going but they start to fade to the back. _Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump._ Over and over again in steady rhythm. Okay were coming back to earth we just need to keep going. _In, hold, out. In, hold ,out._ Someones tapping on my knee.

  
I take a deep breath and slowly open my eyes. I have to blink a few times to adjust to the light. Marks sitting on the floor across from me with his legs crossed. He ducks his head down a little to meet me eye to eye. I nod my head to show him I'm here at least physically. He smiles at me and I smile back. He tilts his head, taps his ears, and cocks his eyebrow. I forgot I had my ears covered. I nod my head, close my eyes, and take a one final breath and start to uncover my ears. I can still hear the hum of the appliances but it's not as loud as I remember. I think Amy took Chica and Henry outside because i can't hear them anymore.

  
Mark’s still looking at me. I think he's waiting for me to talk first and I'm so grateful for that because I’m not ready yet. I put my hands up in front of me to let Mark know I needed a second to compose myself and he nods in response. He offers me a bottle of water I just noticed was sitting next to him, and I gladly accept. I take a big swig and swallow. It burns a little going down my throat is so dry. I put the cap back on and set it on the floor.

  
“Okay. I’m here.” I say more timidly than I was hoping. I'm still trying to ground myself so anything is more than i could really hope for.

  
“Is there anything I can get you? A pillow, blanket, maybe a snack?” Mark looks concerned like he did earlier but I can tell he's trying not to overwhelm me again.

  
“I’m alright for now thank you though. Look, I'm really sorry about all that. That's not what I wanted to happen.” I felt so bad. We were just supposed to shoot a simple video and I had to have an episode.

  
“No need to apologize Eef. Everythings alright, these things happen. You’re not the first person to have a panic attack while filming.” Mark says sweetly. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe you know what caused it?”

  
“It wasn’t a panic attack. I mean part of it may have been, but it was an ADHD episode, at least for the most part. I just couldn't focus on anything, or anyone for that matter. I knew what you were saying when you explained what we were supposed to do but when it came time to do it i just couldn't figure out what to do or focus long enough to come up with an idea. Then it was time to drop the eggs and I couldn't even hit my catcher and I guess it was the straw that broke the camel's back.” I word-vomited and Mark nodded along to show he was listening. I take a second to catch my breath before I continue. “I’m really sorry for yelling at you. You were just trying to help and I was a dick. Im really really sorry.”

  
“Ethan i’ll be honest even though i have ADHD i've never experienced that and i'm sorry you have to. It sounds like it's not the first time it's happened either. However I do know how to help with panic attacks and its sounds similar enough that maybe I can help down the road. If you'd want that is.” Mark looked at me in true sincerity and it made me happy to have a friend who cared so much.

  
“I’d like that a lot. I really appreciate it. Where's Tyler and Amy by the way?” I asked just noticing their absence. I have to admit it was a lot less humiliating to come to with only Mark here. Don't get me wrong they are my friends but i still didn't want to be surrounded by people right now.

  
“I had them take the dogs for a walk. I figured by the way you were grabbing your ears the dogs barking weren't exactly helping. That and I know that crowding someone in a panic attack is a bad idea so i just wanted to cover all the bases.” Mark said. At this point I was doing a lot better. My heart was back to normal and I could breathe without wheezing. This was also the poInt I realized I was so extremely tired. My eyes were so heavy I could barely keep them open. I guess I started to nod off because the next thing I knew Mark was shaking my shoulder. “Eef do you think you can stay up for me a little longer? We still have a little bit left to shoot.”

  
“I can promise to try. If I'm being honest though I dont think I'm in the best shape to be on camera right now. I can feel how puffy my eyes are right now.” I have to be honest i'd rather our fans not know about this incident. I'm also not really sure how long i'm gonna be able to stay awake for and falling asleep on camera is a big no-no.

  
“You know what, you've already done your drop, you don't really need to be on camera. I would still like you to be there to do commentary if you wouldn't mind. We can always do the second half of the video tomorrow. Tyler and Amy will understand.” Mark is already finding solutions to salvage today's shoot. As if on queue Amy and Tyler came walking through the front door with Chica and Henry. Mark looked worried.

  
“I’m alright. They're fine, I promise. I’m too tired to get worked up again.” I say with an exhausted smirk. What i said was true i don't think i could have another episode if i tried. Everything just felt so heavy. “Alright. Let's do this the show must go on!”


	2. Putting Them Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Ethan talk about everything that happened and hugs ensue. Mark's a sweet caring boy and Ethan's an emotion wreck

“I can do this. I-I can do this” i say sing songy. I've just pulled up to Marks house for day 2 of what should have been a one day video. But hey today's a new day. I may already be running late but that's fine. Everybody already knows and Mark told me to take my time anyway. I just gotta put one foot in front of the other and get through the day. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

I take my time walking to the back yard. The sun is shining and it smells like spring. I can hear everyone long before I see them. I can hear them talking but I can't quite make out what it's about. As I come through the gate to the backyard I hear them starting to laugh which is a relief. 

“Hello, hello. Anybody home?” I call out. As I round the corner of the side of the house I find everybody lounging on the patio by the pool. Mark and Amy are canoodling on a deck chair and Tyler is soaking his feet in the pool. I look around and see that everything is already set up and I feel both happy and guilty about it. It's a load off my plate that everything is already set but I feel bad that they had to do it without my help. But I can't let that get to me. Today's gonna be different. Today,s gonna be better.

“Well hello there bud. How's Eef doing today?” Mark says as he starts to untangle himself from Amy. He starts walking towards me and I can already see some of the concern from yesterday is still present in his face. He wraps me in one of his patented Markiplier Bear Hugs™. 

“I’m here, I'm alive, and I’m ready to get this video done.” I say with the best smile i can muster. I've had a pretty mediocre night and got maybe a total of 4 hours of sleep. I mean it's not the worst night of sleep but it could have been a lot better after the day i had yesterday. I was so mentally exhausted but physically I couldn't sleep for the life of me. I kept tossing and turning throughout the night. That's part of the reason I was so late to the shoot. It took a lot of the minimal mental power I had this morning to get out of the bed.

“Can I talk to you for a minute inside?” Mark asked quietly. My heart immediately started to race and my mind was of course jumping to the worse case scenarios. What if i had freaked him out so bad yesterday he didn't want to be friends anymore? What if I had completely ruined the video? What if- “Hey bud it's nothing bad I just wanna touch base with what happened yesterday and i figured it would be better if it was just you and me.” 

Mark must have read my mind as he cut off my train of thought. I exhaled the breath that I hadn't noticed I was holding. That wasn't exactly how i was hoping today would start but i cant say im surprised. I nod to Mark not exactly sure on what to say. We turn towards the backdoor to head inside and Mark excuses from Amy and Tyler. My heart is still racing but at least a little less as I try and keep my breath steady. 

I keep my head slightly ducked down as I follow Mark in. He sits on the couch and I sit on the opposite side. Trying to distance myself mentally as well as physically from the situation. I feel bad. I know i should be thankful to have someone like him as a friend but I already feel guilty and this is just adding to it.

“I just want to start off by saying I don't think any less of you for what happened. I've had some panic attacks that weren't a pretty site and I know that all you want to do is forget that anything happened yesterday. But in order for me to understand fully what happened we need to talk. And in order to help in the future I need to understand what caused it. Do you think you can walk me through it?” Mark asks. He’s right I don't really wanna talk about it but I also understand that i need to. Acting like it didn't happen isnt gonna change anything. I take a deep breath.

“My ADHD was in overdrive yesterday. Nothing caused it at least that i know of. Some days it's just worse than others and yesterday was one of those days. It started as soon as i woke up and by the time i got here it was virtually hopeless but i was trying my best. While you were explaining what the challenge was I could hear you but I understood absolutely nothing. And by the time I understood a semblance of anything you said the first half of the build was over. By the time I had any sort of idea the second half was over too and it was too late. I just felt so overwhelmed and I was so embarrassed with how bad I did. Then I fucked up even hitting the catcher and I guess I just broke. I had a meltdown. Suddenly I heard everything at once and everything just felt wrong. There was just too much input to my brain and nothing processed.” I basically word vomited it all out. I took a deep breath and tried to collect my thoughts. Mark was being too quiet and I was starting to get worried all over again. Deep down I knew he understood but my brain wouldn't let me accept it.

Next thing i knew Mark had crossed the distance i had originally put between us and wrapped me in the biggest hug humanly possible. I didn't know how to react at first so I stiffened up. I was terrified I had messed up somehow. But after a few seconds I sunk into the hug. It felt so nice. Then I started to cry. I was feeling so many emotions at once and I couldn't process it. I gave up and I just let myself cry. Mark knew I needed it before I did and he just held me as it happened. Everything from yesterday and this morning just spilled over, and dammit it felt good. I cried for what felt like hours but what was actually probably only a few minutes. I finally managed to pull myself together enough to catch my breath, and go from sons to small hiccups to sniffles. A few minutes later I was back.

“I’m alright, i promise. Im okay. Thank you so much for everything. Not just from yesterday and today but our entire friendship. I’m lucky to have a friend like you who tries so hard to understand what i'm going through.” I thank him. 

“Anytime Eef. That's what friends are for. You feel any better?” Mark asks. I nod. I feel so much better. All the weight was taken off my chest and I have to admit I felt free. After the dust settled I always felt better but also just so tired. After not sleeping the full night yesterday and this emotional bombshell i just wanna curl up and sleep. But there's a job to be done and i'm not gonna drag this on for yet another day. 

“I just need a few minutes to collect myself a little bit more but then i really wanna get this video done. Does that sound good to you?” I ask Mark, feeling the tiredness settling in my bones.

“Take as long as you need kiddo. I'm gonna give you some space and go back with Tyler and Amy and finish setting up. Come on out whenever you're ready.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and possibly a chapter 3?


End file.
